Calm Mind

How to cope with disappointments?

May 15, 2015 by Amy Brown

Disappointment is part of life and none of us is resistant to it. Whether it is a businessman who lost some important deal or a teenager who lost his chance to date a girl. Everyone experienced the bitter taste of the disappointment at least once.

But without that experience people would not be able to appreciate the small victories. Disappointment makes us stand firmly on the ground, but also motivate us to try harder next time.

How to cope with disappointment?

Do not create pressure on yourself

People often can not accept that they did something wrong, so they analyze the situation to the point of not being able to move on. It is important to accept things as they are and move on. The overthinking of the situation only leads to deeper tiredness.

Take a breath and see things from another perspective

Sometimes we can not see the things as they are because of the many emotions we feel at the time. Therefore, it is important to stand to the side and see things from another perspective. When emotions calm down, perhaps you may see a situation where you can turn it in your favor.

Disappointment does not define you

If you the girl / guy refused your invitation for a or you didn’t get a raise, that does not mean that something is wrong with you. Even if you fail at first, it does not mean you have to blame yourself for the failure. You should understand it as a bad day, but never allow a failure to define you. It should motivate you to be more persistent.

Disappointment is a lesson for the future

Although it leaves bitter taste in the mouth, disappointment is an opportunity to see what exactly you are doing wrong and how it can be improved. Sometimes the smallest change in the strategy can contribute to big results.

Say “YES” to the present moment

May 10, 2015 by Amy Brown

The modern way of life is filled with stress , the main reasons are the rapid lifestyle and general financial uncertainty due to the uncertain future. Unfortunately, there is a gap between what the circumstances of our lifes require from us and what is required by human nature, so it is no surprise that people are looking for ways to cope with stress.

One way to accomplish this is to slow down the pace of life so that worry about the past and the future will be replaced with more attention to the present. Here are the ways we propose to achieve this goal.

Focus on what happens to the current moment – Thinking about unpleasant moments of the past is actually returning them to the present, which mean you go again through the same bitter experience. It will make to look at the future filed with pessimism and you will meet the stress. You should spare from such a view, because no one can predict the future and instead of that concentrate on what is just happening here and now.

Full presence – Be aware of what you experience in the present. What you see, hear or smell now? How do you feel about it? Openness to new experiences allow you to be curious. Instead of thinking that you will not succeed because of bad experiences, accept new challenges of the present and curiously wait to see what experience you will get this time.

Do not judge – The way you accept new things depend on the feelings that protect you from something or make you act to do something. Try to accept things with an open mind without judging.

Accept the things as they are – Do not get fooled that reality is or should be in the way that suits you. So you finish with the feeling that you are a victim and the claim that life was not fair to you. Look the reality and become aware of it, you can adapt and tolerate it or you can fight to change something.

Awareness of the connection with nature – The environment is something that we should defend. We are part of it and we get things that we need from there: food, beauty, opportunities… All living beings in the nature want to be satisfied, and therefore we are not alone in dealing with stress and problems in the endless quest for pleasure.

No attachments – Do not attach too much to people, objects or experiences, because in these modern lifestyles you will hardly be able to save all the things that you like and still want. Stay independent of them, because excessive attachment to things springs from the fear and it is the basis of suffering. Everything goes away, everything changes. A door is closed, the other opens.

Stay calm – Life has its ups and downs. At any stage you are in, you know that it will end. When you are going through a bad time, stay consistent with your values and attitudes and calmly continue to achieve your goals.

Compassion – Treat yourself, and other people with kindness and compassion. Instead of condemning, be open to other people’s problems, try to understand them and do not hesitate to sympathize. Compassion is one of the basic human needs that are accomplished through relationships with others. Thus quickly you realize that you are not alone in the mud of problems.

Calm mind: 5 steps to relax

May 9, 2015 by Amy Brown

Sometimes we have too many things to worry about even before we start our daily routines and confront with the new problems. Worrying yourself may be useful in solving problems but also it makes us unhappy or even interfere with our daily activities.

There is a one psychological method for dealing with everyday care which is really simple. But just because it’s easy it doesn’t mean it is very popular among people.

There is a five-step plan called “Calm mind” which was actually created by psychologists specifically for people with dementia. That is why a special emphasis was placed on the relationships, and less on the cognitive aspects.

1. Awareness

This is the step that many people forget. Why? Because it seems that you already know the answer. You probably think you know what it is that makes you feel anxious. However, sometimes the situations, psychological signs and the emotions that accompany of the anxiety, are not as obvious as you might think. So you can try to keep a diary whether written or virtual. It is helpful to write down- when you feel anxious and what are the psychological signs of this anxiety? Sometimes this step is enough to help people with their anxiety. Especially in the field of habits, self-awareness is the first step towards certain changes.

2. Breathing

You’ve probably read about the ways in which the mind and body are connected and constantly send information. For example, standing makes people feel secure. The mind is not the only one who has influence on the body, the body can influence the mind. The same goes for anxiety: taking conscious control of breathing sends a message back to the mind.

So when you are anxious, a condition often accompanied by shallow and rapid breathing, try to change it by relax breathing, which is usually slower and deeper. You can count while you inhale and exhale, and also try to put your hand on your stomach and feel the air entering and coming out of you. In addition, accept any position that you feel relaxed. For example, you can relax your muscles, with spreading your hands and having a big smile.

3. Calming thoughts

People usually say: “Think of calming thoughts,” but who can think such thoughts in a stressful situation?

The solution is to prepare calming thoughts in advance. They can be simple like “Calm down!”, but it should be something that makes you personally react. You should find form of words or thoughts which are right for you.

4. Increased activity

Maybe it’s weird to say that one of the most effective ways to deal with anxiety is activity. However, when the brain is busy with something, it often wanders away from anxiety. Therefore, when you engage in an activity that you love, you feel happier. Even things like cleaning around your house can be better than just sit and worry. The problem with anxiety is that it makes you feel less encouraging to start an activity. One solution is to have a list of activities that represent enjoyment for you .

5. Sleeping skills

Often people who are anxious, have trouble sleeping. Sometimes when you’re anxious there’s nothing nicer than lying in bed and just be preoccupied with your thoughts. But decreased sleep can lead to anxiety associated with sleep, paradoxically, to poor sleep. Avoiding this vicious circle can be really difficult, but practicing how to relax can help you. It’s all about gaining good sleeping habits.