Self-esteem

How to build a healthy self-confidence

August 10, 2015 by Amy Brown

Many of us have problems with low self-esteem as a result of the impressions we gained through life. Having a healthy self-esteem does not mean having a big ego, but feeling safe in your own skin, accepting all yours imperfections and uncertainties and having a realistic picture of yourself. Something like that does not come by itself, but requires making changes that will help build a healthy self-esteem.

The first change that you need to master is to learn to say ‘no’. It often happens that we are doing some of the things because we think it will please others. Putting others’ interests before your own means other people are more important than yourself. Determine your priorities and say no to what you do not want to do and you will make each subsequent ‘yes’ to have a higher value, so you will begin to appreciate your time and effort.

Express your views and opinions. When you are retaining all in yourself, in fact you say that you are worth less than others. You have a voice to be heard, so use it to show others that you are here. This does not mean that you need to take it out on the people around you, but the next time you are asked for your opinion, get a new idea or you know a better way to solve a problem you need to communicate with the environment, because your vote is worth the same as and someone else’s.

Dedicate yourself to your hobbies and activities you enjoy. You never know what awaits you and when what you do on the side, in your free time, can turn into something bigger. Go back to college, enter the cooking class, read a book, start to play an instrument, play sports or go to the school of foreign languages. Each of us has a talent that makes us special, and when you go to share it with the world, others will recognize it and your confidence will be built day by day.

Be careful with yourself. Make sure you feed your body with good food. Be active and focus on exercise to maintain a healthy body, and soon the results will positive affect your self-image. Dedicate yourself on what makes you happy, and surround yourself with people who inspire you and bring out the best to you. Kindness and a smile addressed to a stranger on the street or your own reflection in the mirror will turn all on the positive side, and fix your self-image.

10 excuses that stop you from realizing your dreams

May 9, 2015 by Amy Brown

Your words have more power than you can imagine. They are part of your internal and external experience. That is why if you change your words you can change your life. See the 10 ways that may destroy your dreams…

1. I’m too scared

It’s okay, we should all be afraid. Whether it is a large or small change, the search for ways to achieve your dreams always means getting out of your comfort zone. It is natural and normal to be afraid. But instead of seeing fear as a barrier, try to use it as a compass that will guide you to the right path. Therefore, change these words in “I am excited”.

2. I do not have enough …

Money. Time. Experience. Knowledge. Certificates. Who says that? You are the only person who can allow these thoughts stop you. Rather than focus on what you do not have, look at those things that you can use now and find ways to include them in achieving your goal. Therefore, change these words in “I have more than enough”.

3. This is what I am and I can not change that

If you feel that you are a person that can’t change, you will lose your hope very quickly and you will see your journey as something impossible. Remember, you can always grow and develop, so instead of considering yourself as incompetent, look for ways that you can change yourself in a better way. Therefore, change these words into “I constantly get a better version of myself.”

4. This is too difficult for me

Following your heart is hard work. That’s why whenever you feel like it is difficult for you, make a step back and remind yourself why are you doing this. What is your goal? Rather than focusing on what you need to do, focus on the chance to do so. Follow your dreams! Enjoy the process. Therefore, change these words to “This activity is a fun and inspired me to go further.”

5. I have an impact on people around me

It is very easy to distract yourself with thoughts about the way you influence the people you love. Will they be jealousy? Am I selfish? Did not pay enough attention? Rather than focusing yourself on the way that you influence other people, be concentrated on how you can inspire, communicate your joy and the fact that you can give up completely when you are really happy. Therefore, change these words in “My happiness is a gift to everyone around me.”

6. I am not like them

We often want to believe that we are not made of the same material as the others who realize their dreams. We believe that we are not like them, we do not deserve what we desire or we are not able to achieve it. Instead of sinking into these negative thoughts and continually comparing with others, try to see their perseverance as inspiration for your own dreams. Therefore, change these words in “I am able/capable“.

7. I am not ready

This form of perfectionism will inhibit you from realizing your dreams. The start is the thing that prepares you. Although this counteracts your intuition through your activities, you can achieve well-being and that will help you discover the next step in your quest. Never stop if you do not feel prepared and remember that you will never feel ready until you start. Therefore, change these words in “If not now, when?”

8. No one had done this before

Instead of looking for reasons for the impossibility, find inspiration to stay worthy in achieving your dreams. Therefore, change these words into “I can accomplish everything I am up to”.

9. I have tried and failed

If you have never been unsuccessful, then you are one of the rarest people of the planet. Failure indicates the things you need to change in your approach and that will help you get closer to what you really want. Do not let obstacles keep you demotivated and try to find new ways in which you could achieve your goal. Therefore, change these words in “I have experience and knowledge.”

10. I do not want people to change their opinion about me

Why? Those who really love you will continue to love you regardless of your dreams. Rather than focus on how others perceive you, focus on monitoring your heart and life the way you really want to live. If you value yourself, you wouldn’t worry about the opinions of others. Therefore, change these words into “I want to show myself in true light.”

How to learn to love yourself?

May 9, 2015 by Amy Brown

Learning to love yourself is important for our overall functioning, life satisfaction, personal well-being and self-image. But how can we achieve it?

I know that it may not be so simple and quick process: We often say that we love ourselves, but our actions, reactions and way of life speak otherwise. To love yourself is critical for your personal development, fulfilling your dreams, developing healthy, fulfilling relationships.

How to learn to love yourself more?

Instead of saying that you love yourself, try to be more compassionate to yourself through these practical steps:

Take care of yourself as you care for others

It sounds pretty simple, but many of us do not do this because they believe that this way we are selfish or that our needs are not important. They are important! It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Compassion means showing concern for your feelings as well as for other people. Treat yourself the way you would treat your children or best friend – with tenderness, attention and care.

Keep to your limits

Make a list of things you need emotionally, things that are important to you, that disturb you or hurt your feelings. This may include to be heard; to get support when you are hurt; to celebrate when you succeed at something; to get love and tenderness without request; to know that you can rely on someone. All that’s important to you, it is important! And when someone ignores the things that are important to you or crosses your boundaries, you know – because you are harmed. Do not ignore it. Your feelings are telling you what is right and what is wrong.

Show what your limits are to the people around you and what you will tolerate or not. If they apologize to you, you can forgive them. If they do not do that, or continue to ignore your limits and needs, you should set consequences for that. For example, if you tell your partner that you need to be listened when you talk about something, but he/she constantly ignores you or tells you to go through it, you can respond with appropriate measures, such as to find another person that you trust. Also, you can examine the relationship.You should receive love, acceptance and respect in your relationship as much as you give to the other person. By doing activities that meet your needs and being assertive, you are boosting your confidence because you strengthen your beliefs for yourself and others, that you deserve to be loved and treated well.

Do what you need to be yourself

First, find out what it is that makes you feel good. No matter what it is, become aware of how you feel when you do those things. Do you feel exhausted at work, but relaxed when you work in the garden? Do you feel joyful when you read to your children? Are you satisfied when you are writing poetry or do voluntary work? Discover what it is that makes you feel good and do it as often as possible. Do what you want and do not let anyone to blame you for it.

All these things will help you develop a sense of self actualization, self-esteem and self-evaluation, that you are talented, capable individual who deserves love. The person who is most important to believe in is you!